The Pets Chronicle
by Sorceress Fantasia
Summary: Leon finds a black chocobo lying unconscious in front of his apartment one day, and he reluctantly helps it if just for his younger cousin's sake. But he really wouldn't mind helping that bird a hundred more times if it means he can see its master again.
1. Rumour has it

Title: The Pets Chronicle part 1 - Rumour has it  
Author: Sorceress Fantasia  
Pairing: Leon / Cloud  
Theme: Rumour  
Rating: PG  
Warnings: AU, fluff, sap, humour, slightly crack-tistic in nature

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or any of its characters, as much as I would like to.

Written for LJ challenge 7snogs.

Summary: Leon finds a black chocobo lying unconscious in front of his apartment one day, and he reluctantly helps it if just so to keep his younger cousin happy. But he really wouldn't mind helping that bird a hundred more times if it means he can see its master again.

* * *

It was rumoured that chocobos were a rather clever species of animals, with an intelligence that allowed them to understand a little human language and even reply happily with their distinctive 'warks'.

It was rumoured that chocobos were very graceful, as evident by every step they walk, every wave of their wings and their petite size that made them resemble little chicken plushies.

It was rumoured that chocobos were extremely beautiful creatures, with feathers that shined in the light and bright eyes that glimmered with mischief, much like how a three-year-old child looked like before sticking his hand into the cookie jar for the last crumb.

As a result of all these rumours, chocobos were always seen to be the best pet one could ever want or dream of. Children wrote to Santa for a sweet little chocobo, and those same children begged their parents for one. However, not many people got the chance to rear a pet chocobo, mostly because they were rather rare, but also because if they were caught forcibly from the wild, they usually did not survive their first week in captivity. They were animals that liked the wild very, very much.

Their rates of survival in captivity was also greatly decreased when someone found out that they tasted very good, barbequed or with just a pinch of salt. That same guy eventually went on to found his own fast-food chain aptly named 'Fantasia Fried Chocobos', but that is another story all together.

Anyway, the point was that those who did own a pet chocobo were considered to be very lucky.

Leon thought that whoever spread those rumours had apparently never met this particular chocobo, which was currently lying unconscious and slumped in front of his apartment, looking more like road kill than anything else. Its tongue had fallen out of its beak, its eyes long replaced by spiraling lines of dizziness, and if Leon took a closer look, he swore he could see stars circling the bird's head, dancing a merry tune and completely oblivious to the unconscious bird.

Just moments ago, he had opened the door with the intention of going out to buy groceries. That was when he heard a happy 'wark' and a dashing flash of black on the stairs, quickly followed by an alarmed, 'wark!', the sound of emergency brakes screeching, and the little blob of black feathers tumbling down in a wild flail of wings and too-thin legs. If Leon had been a little more delusional, he would claim that there was an instant replay of the chocobo's ill-fated fall in slow motion, rewind and then played again. Leon silently reminded himself to stop giving in to his younger cousin's puppy eyes and watch anime with him. Sora's puppy eyes and anime were doing strange things to his psyche.

"What's that noise?"

Speaking of the devil… ahem, angel, Sora popped out from behind him at the ruckus. His big blue eyes widened upon settling on the black bird, and he gasped. Then, his eyebrows twitched and he turned to Leon and asked, "You didn't trip it, did you?"

It seemed that Leon would be forever reminded of his sudden evil streak that had surfaced one day, causing him to stick a leg out when their pet chocobo, a little pink bird with a red ribbon on her head and going by the name of Aeris, was trotting happily along the dining table. She had tripped and knocked her head against the floor with a blood-curdling 'wark', the little white bead falling from her ribbon and disappearing. It was kind of sad, because Leon really liked that little white bead.

Not that he didn't feel sorry for Aeris, of course. The bump on her head had caused her to be mistaken for a goose for quite a while. As punishment, Sora the little chocobo lover had forced him to buy the healthiest greens for Aeris for an entire month, though Leon thought it might have been a better idea to buy Aeris' favourite greens instead. Healthy did not equate tasty.

"Not this time," Leon answered truthfully. "It just tumbled down. Probably it was stupid enough to trip on its legs."

Sora gave him a pointed look. He returned it. Sora's glare intensified. He shrunk a bit. Sora's glower started to generate sparks. He shrunk to the size of the white bead that used to be in Aeris' ribbon.

Finally, Leon decided it would be in his best interests to help the black chocobo or something. Sighing, he walked up to the still unconscious bird and gave it a little poke. Aeris followed behind him tentatively, reaching out to nudge her fellow chocobo with her beak. When it did not respond, she gave it a gentle kick. When it still did not respond, she cried loudly and kicked harder and harder. Leon resolved to keep Aeris in her cage in Sora's bedroom when Sora was playing Marvel vs Capcom on the console.

Taking pity on the black chocobo, he picked it up carefully to keep it away from her, cradling it against his chest. The poor thing still did not wake up, and upon further checking, was wearing a collar but there was no tag to indicate where its master lived. Leon sighed again. He didn't want to have to take care of another chocobo, but Sora would not let him have a good night's sleep if he didn't at least look after it a bit while looking for its missing master.

So Leon reluctantly brought the black chocobo inside his apartment, inwardly thinking that if they couldn't find its master in three days he would sell the bird to the local pet store. Or maybe Fantasia Fried Chocobo, depending on which of them offered Leon a higher price. Unaware of his cousin's evil plans, Sora had already gone on ahead to prepare the first-aid kit, mentally calculating how much greens the bird would need to get healthy again. Aeris just toddled along after them, wondering when she'd get to play with her new punching bag.

* * *

Leon thought he felt his eyebrow twitch. How that little blob of black feathers had gotten so close to both Sora and Aeris in just two hours, he would never understand.

Three hours ago, the chocobo finally woke up with a weak 'wark' and when it tried standing up, it had immediately fallen sideways from wooziness. Sora was quick to fawn and fuss over it, propping it up with soft cushions and giving it a nice water bowl and another bowl filled with Aeris' favourite greens. As though invigorated by the sight of food, it had recovered almost instantly and begun to chomp down the greens heartily like it was scared the greens would suddenly sprout legs and run away. Aeris, a little miffed that the newcomer was eating her food and using her bowls, had stalked over looking like she intended to kick it again. But the black chocobo had looked up at that moment, gave her a wink (how in the world did that chocobo learned to wink like that?), and she swooned dreamily. Leon had picked the black bird up for a moment, and after giving it a, ahem, thorough examination, determined that it was a male. No wonder Aeris was so easily taken in. Sora then proceeded to fuss over both chocobos, playing game after game with the two after they had finished eating.

Now the brunet boy was playing fetch with the two, laughing cheerfully while the two fluff balls chased after the small rubber ball. They seemed to be having a lot of fun, something Leon couldn't understand no matter how hard he tried. He was never an animal person. In fact, if Sora hadn't begged him to keep Aeris when that pink bird had wandered out of a bush and into Sora's hands one day, Leon wouldn't even bothered to have a pet at home. They were too troublesome. And they made Sora entirely too noisy for him to read his books.

Just when Leon was thinking if he should just go to bed and hopefully drown out all the noise, there was a frantic knock on their door followed by the doorbell. Peering at Sora, who was still engrossed with the two chocobos, he sighed, resigning himself to have to pluck himself out of his chair and his book. Crossing the apartment, he hoped that it wasn't a door-to-door salesman or something. It would be such a waste of energy to kick the guy down the stairs.

Then he opened the door.

And he promptly felt his heart skip a beat before pounding like crazy against his ribcage.

There, standing outside his apartment, was a teenager, seemingly a few years younger than himself. The teen had messy golden hair that looked like a chocobo's nest, blue eyes that were much too big for his face, a nose that wasn't sharp enough, some freckles on his cheeks and rather feminine pouting lips. But somehow, despite all that (or perhaps because of a combination of all that), Leon thought he was the cutest guy he had ever seen in his life.

When he opened his mouth to speak, Leon thought he had never heard a voice as soothing as his, and in his trance, it took him quite a while to actually register that the cutest guy in his life was talking to him.

"Err… sorry, could you repeat that?"

The blond teenager looked anxiously at him, his brows knitted in worry.

"I'm sorry, but have you seen a black chocobo? I just moved into the apartment upstairs last night, you see, and when I was unpacking my stuff earlier, I suddenly realized that my pet was gone! He's got black feathers, an orange beak, and purple eyes. Have you seen him? Have you?"

Leon seriously couldn't remember if he had seen a black chocobo earlier, not when he was so busy staring into the newcomer's blue eyes and pink cherry lips to even think. Vaguely, Leon wondered if he could persuade the blond teen into coming inside his apartment for a glass of water and calm down a bit before volunteering to help look for the missing pet. Better yet, maybe he could persuade the teen into forgetting all about the bird and just come in for a nice chat and maybe even dinner. If they were going to be neighbours, it would be a good idea to get to know each other, right?

Right.

Unfortunately (for Leon, that is), there was a sudden loud and excited 'wark' and the little blob of black feathers was already at the door, flapping his wings eagerly and bouncing on his feet.

"Zack!" the teenager cried happily, quickly bending down to pick his pet up. "You naughty bird, you! How could you just run off like that? Do you have any idea how worried I was? I even thought you had gotten captured by someone who was going to sell you to the local pet store or even that Fantasia Fried Chocobo!" When the bird whined pitifully, tears gathering up in his eyes, Cloud sniffed and hugged it tighter. "Don't you dare run off again, you understand?"

"Oh! Are you his master?" Sora asked, having just gotten to the door with Aeris when Zack had suddenly zipped off, only to see the black chocobo snuggling against a stranger.

When the teenager's eyes landed on the pink chocobo, they lit up in realization. Staring down hard at Zack, he poked his tummy and muttered something about 'skirt chasers'. The black chocobo blinked innocently.

"Forgive my lack of manners. My name's Cloud. I just moved into the apartment upstairs last night, and Zack here," –he poked his tummy again, to which the bird cooed happily – "ran off when I was unpacking earlier. Did he follow your chocobo inside your apartment? I'm sorry about that. Zack can be really playful sometimes."

"So you're our new neighbour! Everyone's been gossiping about who would occupy that empty apartment for forever, since the last guy moved out! Welcome! I'm Sora, and this is my cousin, Leon. This little beauty here," – Aeris fluffed herself up a bit at the praise – "is our pet. Her name's Aeris. And don't worry, Zack didn't follow Aeris. He sorta fell down the stairs and blacked out. Leon brought him inside."

Cloud gasped, quickly giving his pet a once over and pulling lightly on his wings to see if anything had broken. "Fell down the stairs? Zack, how many times must I tell you not to run down the stairs?"

The bird shrunk, burying his head into Cloud's arms. His feathers drooped as he tried to make himself invisible.

"None of your favourite greens tonight for dinner! You'll be eating the healthiest greens we have, which I know you hate because they taste gross. But since you fell down and even got yourself unconscious, you'll need your nutrients. And Zack, no using the watery eyes tactic on me. It's not going to work this time."

Zack whined when Cloud tapped his beak a few times, chiding him softly.

Then Cloud turned his gaze to Leon, and the blonde suddenly looked like a temptress rather than the distraught little teenager just moments ago. The wonders of finding a missing pet.

"Thank you so much for helping Zack. Is there anything I can do for you in return?"

Leon had to slap himself inwardly to stop all the naughty thoughts from surfacing, especially when Cloud was gazing at him shyly, those blue eyes brimming with emotions that were pleading for Leon to ravish him right there and then. Or maybe it was just Leon's imagination. "It… It was my pleasure. I… I like chocobos anyway."

Neither of them noticed the look of disbelief Sora shot at Leon.

But apparently, that answer pleased Cloud.

"Well then, I guess I'll just have to thank you again."

"You… You really don't have to." What was it about the blond that made Leon feel like a high school student again? He was already in college, for god's sake! But… just stealing a glance at Cloud was enough to set his face aflame and get his heart throb like there was no tomorrow. It was so, so, so… surreal. But it was a nice feeling, Leon thought. A very nice feeling.

Cloud smiled warmly at him. Setting Zack down on the ground, who gave him a curious 'wark' and then quickly wrapped himself around his leg, Cloud took a step closer to Leon and cupped his face gently. Before anyone could register what was happening, Cloud had already pulled Leon down for a short, chaste kiss.

Leon's heart promptly collapsed from an overload of excitement. It forced itself to continue pounding, if only to feel more of that wondrous soft lips and that soft pressure. His nerves cried out in pain, positively fried by the sheer delight of the electrifying touch on his lips. His lips cooed in delight, happy to get the most action than the rest of the body parts. His stomach flipped, the butterflies within dancing and cheering to the latest nightclub hit. And when Cloud pulled away, Leon's brain screamed for him to grab Cloud and kiss him again.

"Thank you so much for helping Zack. I believe we'll have fun being neighbours," Cloud breathed softly, his warm breath tickling Leon's burning lips.

He remained rooted to the ground even after Cloud had picked up his pet and headed upstairs.

* * *

From that night onwards, there was a new rumour about chocobos amongst the residents of Destiny Apartments. Something about them being the best matchmakers…

-tbc-

A/N: I'm taking a short break from _Vanilla_, in case you were wondering. _The Pets Chronicle _will be a series of 7 ficlets, all very short and slightly crack-tistic. _Vanilla _will return... soon-ish.


	2. Uniformalities

Title: The Pets Chronicle part 2 – Uniformalities  
Author: Sorceress Fantasia  
Pairing: Leon / Cloud  
Theme: Uniform  
Warnings: AU, fluff, sap, humour, slightly crack-tistic in nature  
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or any of its characters, as much as I would like to.

Written for LJ 7snogs challenge.

Summary: Cloud has little idea what his uniform does to Leon's psyche.

* * *

It was noisy. 

It was much too noisy.

Those two chocobos were going to find themselves in the stew for dinner tonight if they didn't quiet down within the next few minutes! Leon threw a pillow irately at his door, which was the only thing that kept the two hyperactive birds out. Suddenly, it was as though he had shouted his thoughts and let it echo through the nearly empty apartment, things immediately settled down outside his room. The pillow combined with his murderous aura, which had probably leaked out of his tense body, was enough to cause the birds' feathers to stand on ends. Ah, blessed silence. Except for an occasional and timid 'wark', that was.

Leon snorted. In the two weeks since Cloud had moved to Destiny Apartments, they had quickly settled into a routine of leaving Zack and Aeris together with whoever was at home. Leon often got saddled with the job in the afternoons, since Cloud and Sora were in high school and had lessons during that time, and Leon's classes at college started in the evening on some days.

It was such a bother. If Cloud hadn't asked him to take good care of Zack, he would have chained the bird up to a table, turn on a flashlight and lead him on a merry wild goose chase until the chain got all wound around the table leg nicely. That damn bird was much too active for his liking, and in the days since knowing him, Aeris had even learned to be a rebel. Where she used to be a meek little chocobo biting on his pants legs to ask for more greens before the Zack phenomenon, she had transformed into a prissy little princess that kicked him if he didn't feed her enough.

If it wasn't for Cloud…!

Stupid black chocobo.

Suddenly, there was a knock on his bedroom door. Before he could even reply and allow whoever it was outside to enter, the person had already taken it upon himself to fling the door open. Leon was a little annoyed, but his annoyance sort of melted away when amusement caught up with him at the sight standing at the threshold of his room. He had to bite his bottom lip to stop the laughter from coming.

The person wasn't as amused.

" Leon, tell your pink lady to stop pecking at my feet every time I'm here to pick up my chocobo after lessons," the person said with a deadpan, the black chocobo already tightly snuggled in his arms. Aeris was, true to his words, hovering around his feet and pecking repeatedly. Unfortunately for her, he was wearing thick combat boots.

"Too bad. Aeris doesn't listen to me. You'd have to ask Sora for help. You like that, don't you, Riku?" Leon replied with a drawl, smirking.

Riku was Cloud's younger brother, even though the two looked nothing alike. While Cloud was a blue-eyed blond, Riku had soft silver hair and aquamarine eyes, both girl-magnet features, according to Sora. He would know, since Sora and Riku were in the same class in high school after the latter had transferred schools, along with his brother. Cloud was one year above them, and a magnet just like Riku, although Sora's sources said that Cloud seemed to be attracting more boys than girls.

But despite both being magnets, neither brother seemed to be interested in their fawning fans. For Riku, it was mostly because he was trying to seduce Sora and failing miserably at it because Riku loved eating chocobos while Sora loved chocobos that were still alive. And Cloud, on the other hand… Leon wasn't sure. And he wasn't exactly interested in finding out why.

What Leon was interested in, was write and sketch out plans to make Cloud fall in love with himself.

Riku returned his smirk. "As much as I would love to, I don't think Sora would appreciate it if I barge into the bathroom with him in the shower right now."

Most definitely not.

"Anyway, you won't mind if I sort of kick your pink lady out of the way so I can get out, would you? Man, I don't understand why Cloud always makes me come and fetch this guy," –he shook Zack a little, who cried out indignantly at the rough handling- "for home when he knows your chocobo doesn't like me. She doesn't peck Cloud, but every time I'm here, she can't seem to stop pecking at my feet!"

"Probably because he wants Aeris to get used to you."

"Well, if that's the case, it's not working. But whatever. I have to take our emergency food stock home now."

Zack shrunk visibly at the nickname Riku had given him, too shaken to even wark in protest when Riku carefully shoved Aeris out of the way, about to turn and head for home. That was, until someone came up behind him and plucked Zack out of his hands, much to the black chocobo's delight.

"Riku, Zack is not our emergency food stock. I'm not going to let you eat him even if we're completely broke. And don't kick Aeris again."

"Cloud!" Leon exclaimed softly. "How did you get in?"

"By the front door of course, which Riku had so generously left wide open for everyone to come in," Cloud answered, giving his younger brother a little glare at his sheer carelessness. Riku held up his hands and slowly backed away, hardly feeling Aeris' newfound pecking strength in retaliation for the shove earlier.

While Riku was busy pushing the blame onto Aeris, who had started pecking him like a chocobo possessed the moment he entered the house and completely distracted him, and while Cloud was busy chiding him about safety, Leon's attention was entirely captured by the blond like a chocobo in an industrial-strength metal cage.

Talk about woah. Leon recognized the uniform all students of Radiant High had to wear, that poor excuse for a fashion faux-pus that was composed of a drab white shirt, dirty green checkered pants and a matching just-as-dirty green checkered tie. He had worn it himself, back in those days when he was still a high school student, and one of the reasons he had been so happy at his graduation ceremony was because he could finally burn that uniform that had made him look like a fashion victim. In fact, he and his friends had a barbeque party that very night, using their uniforms after the charcoal had ran out.

Maybe it was because of his silly crush, but somehow, that very same uniform didn't look so bad on Cloud… In fact, if Leon was to be completely honest with himself, that uniform made Cloud look even hotter than usual. Maybe it was the role-play urges in Leon's sex drive.

And with Cloud always being so flirtatious with him, it helped to fuel Leon's midnight fantasies involving the uniform, some textbooks, a whip and a candle.

He licked his suddenly dry lips.

The memory of Cloud kissing him two weeks ago was still fresh on his mind.

Vaguely, he wondered if he could talk Cloud into kissing him again, this time for helping to take care of his pet chocobo. It would be a nice payment and not too much trouble for either party, he thought. When he felt a heat gathering slightly below his abdomen, he thought it would be a good idea to stop thinking that much. After all, he had already come up with several plans to kiss Cloud, so it would only be a matter of time before he snogged the blond. Alright, stop thinking… stop thinking… stop thinking!

Leon was so focused on trying to make himself stop thinking of all things that were obscene and be possibly connected to Cloud that he was completely unaware that Riku had ran out of the room, Aeris had chased after him while trying to peck him again, Zack had jumped out of his master's hands to help Aeris in the pecking, and that he was alone with his favourite blond. And in his bedroom too, of all places.

He did a little double-take when there was a hand waving right in front of his eyes. He did another double-take when he realized how close Cloud was to him, the way he could see himself reflected in the other's baby blues. He gulped softly.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Cloud breathed.

Leon blinked, his eyes glued to how the blond's lips were moving. "…I, I was just thinking…"

"How nice it would to kiss?" Teasingly.

Bye bye brain. Hello lustful teenager hormones. "I… I was thinking more along the lines of how good you look in your uniform…"

Cloud smiled, looking more than a little amused. It was then that Leon finally realized what words had just slipped out of his mouth. But before he could correct himself (and hopefully look less like the pervert Cloud had surely already tagged him as), he felt, rather than saw, Cloud's face swim out of focus. And then, there was a light pressure on his lips.

It lasted only for a second, but for Leon's raw lips, it was a little eternity that he would remember forever.

He willed his heart to slow down and for his breath to return to him.

Cloud was still smiling at him, tapping on his parted lips playfully.

"That was for taking of Zack today. Thanks. Take care of him again tomorrow afternoon?"

Leon nodded dumbly.

"Thank you. I'll be in my uniform again tomorrow when I come to pick him up. Wait for me, alright?"

And then Cloud was gone.

Inwardly, Leon silently hoped that the reason why Cloud paid little attention to his admirers in school was because of him. At least, he knew the reverse was true. After meeting Cloud and sharing a chaste kiss with him, the people in school no longer felt as interesting as they had before. If they were a bunch of colourful people, then the blond was techni-coloured, more bedazzling, intriguing and mesmerizing.

Not to mention a better kisser.

He licked his lips again, wondering if Cloud could be persuaded into another kiss while wearing his uniform tomorrow. After all, that was what the otherwise drab uniform was for.

-tbc-


	3. The Milky Way

Title: The Pets Chronicle part 3 – The Milky Way  
Author: Sorceress Fantasia  
Pairing: Leon / Cloud  
Theme: Milk  
Rating: PG  
Warnings: AU, fluff, sap, humour, slightly crack-tistic in nature

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or any of its characters, as much as I would like to.

Summary: Sometimes, having a moustache can be really, really sexy.

* * *

Whoever said the more the merrier ought to be shot.

Shot with enough holes to resemble a beehive, in fact.

Normally, it was bad enough to have two chocobos and one hyperactive teenager who always went gaga over the pets in the house. Then lately, a certain silver-haired boy had found all sorts of strange excuses to hang around the apartment in his active pursuit of the aforementioned hyperactive teenager, resulting in even more ruckus and noise that upset the tranquility. And then, the twice-aforementioned hyperactive teenager had thought it would be a great idea to invite his blond cousin and the blond cousin's pet over as well, causing enough noise to bring down the house. Quite literally, in fact.

And it was a Sunday!

Sundays were meant for sleeping in late, have morning fantasies about one's crush, eat a late brunch and then go back to sleep while dreaming of all the kinky things that involved a chocobo-feather boa and the cutest blond neighbour in the block. It was not meant to be woken up in the morning by various shouts, broken plates and stupid things that went 'wark!'

Too bad Sora believed in making lots of noise in order to have fun on Sundays. Too bad Riku had come over. Too bad Zack had tottered behind him to see Aeris. Too bad Aeris liked cooing when Zack was around. Too bad Sora had invited Roxas, their cousin who lived across town, to spend the day together. And too bad Roxas' pet had decided to tag along, refusing to be left behind at home.

And the worst thing? Despite the fact that everyone seemed to have turned up in his apartment, Cloud was nowhere to be seen! According to Riku, the blond was obsessed with doing laundry on Sundays, but he would be coming down when he was finished.

Leon's eyebrow twitched almost violently.

Roxas walked up to him, leaving Sora and Riku still curled up on the carpet while playing with the two chocobos.

" Leon, can I borrow a dish? I brought some milk here for the pets but I don't have a dish, and Sora's too preoccupied with the chocobos and flirting with Riku to help me," he said languidly, hands stuck in his pockets. Roxas' pet moomba, an orange little critter named Axel, plodded behind him. Once Roxas had stopped moving, Axel was quick to latch onto his pants and wrap himself around his master with a little whine for attention.

Leon heard that that was how Roxas had met Axel in the first place. The moomba had walked up to him in the pet shop, latched on, and could not be pried off even with a crowbar.

"A dish for Axel?" Leon replied, walking into the kitchen as he did so. He pulled the cabinet open, eyes quickly scanning for something suitable.

"No, not just him. I'm thinking of something bigger so Axel, Aeris and Zack can all share the milk. It's that new brand of milk that's been on TV a lot lately, you see, and I'm wondering if it tastes any good. So I bought some on the way here to let those three try it out," Roxas said offhandedly as he pulled the carton out of the fridge. "And since it's on offer, I got the extra-value pack. I think there's enough milk here for them and us, even. You want a glass? I know I want one."

Axel picked that moment to whine, cutesy-style, blinking his large watery eyes and looking up at Roxas. He tugged on his master's pants lightly.

"Roxy, food…"

Roxas raised an eyebrow. "Yes, I'll get you an extra large dish. Now stop doing that thing you're doing with your eyes."

Leon thought there was something very off with the situation, and the answer came to him a moment later. "Wait. Do moombas even drink milk?"

"Well, not really. Axel is just an exception. He eats everything I eat, especially when it's still on my plate."

"Oh. Just wanted to make sure."

"No problem."

* * *

When Cloud finally popped in an hour later, having finished with laundry, the milk carton was already empty. It was surprisingly, rather tasty. So tasty it was that the three pets nearly had to fight their humans for more, and the humans sort of had to lock the pets up while they finished up the last bit.

Leon felt a little apologetic for not saving any for Cloud, even more so when he had drank the very last drop just moments before he answered the doorbell to let the blond in. And strangely enough, it was as though Cloud had an inkling of an idea about what Leon had done, because the second he stepped in, he had been regarding the brunet with a raised eyebrow.

So before Cloud could accuse him, Leon decided to fess up, right when they were alone in the kitchen.

"…I drank the last bit of milk, a couple minutes before you came. Sorry I didn't save you any."

The blond blinked. "What?"

"There was this really delicious milk in my fridge earlier, but we ah, sort of finished it before you came. I should have saved some for you, especially since I knew you were coming." It sounded stupid even to his own ears, but Leon still felt it was something he should tell Cloud. After all, honesty was valued in a relationship, right? Of course, there was no romantic relationship between himself and Cloud yet, but it was just a matter of time.

Cloud chuckled. "So that's why you have this milk moustache right now."

Leon winced, his hand reaching up instinctively to wipe off the offending moustache. Before he could do so, however, Cloud had already caught both his hands and forced them down.

"Why don't I get that for you?" he asked, a playful glint in his baby blues and a smirk tugging insistently on his cherry lips. Without waiting for a reply, Cloud pulled Leon down and teasingly ran his tongue over the milk remnants in small, kittenish licks. He chuckled softly when he felt Leon stiffened under him, and as though to finish up the cleaning, he pressed his lips against Leon's for the third time in a month.

The brunet's breath caught in his throat at the familiar touch on his lips. It was soft, it was sweet, it was mesmerizing. Leon wanted more.

So when Cloud started to pull away, Leon wrapped his arms around Cloud and pulled him back in, pressing their lips together for more of that amazing pressure. And this time, he wasn't going about to let the blond take charge again. Instead, he started to suck hard on the other's bottom lip, occasionally nibbling and licking it, and when Cloud moaned softly, he took the chance and plunged in. Coaxingly, he drew Cloud's tongue into an intricate dance, pushing and pulling, prodding and relenting. Leon knew he had done things right when he felt Cloud's body shudder and those long slender fingers weaving into his hair, and he smirked against the other's lips.

It was quite a while before they parted.

Cloud gasped when he was released, immediately raising a hand to touch his slightly swollen lips that were still blazing. His blue eyes were wide with disbelief.

Leon merely grinned in satisfaction.

"Well, that was… an interesting way to start a kiss. I think I'll have to buy more of that milk later. What say we…" – Leon fanned out his fingers on Cloud's back, exerting a little force to push him closer until their bodies were flushed together - "head out now for the supermarket to get it? Just you and me."

"And the kids?"

"They won't even know we're gone."

The playful glint in Cloud's eyes returned full force. He set his hands on Leon's shoulders, gently caressing. "Well then, lead the way."

* * *

When they returned hours later, Zack the little chocobo, who had a nose even more sensitive than a patrol dog on the K9 unit when it came to food, thought he could smell ice cream and milk on his master. But when he toddled up and tried to whine for a bit of that delicious milk, his master had only given him a silly grin.

He turned to Aeris, who had done the same with her master, only to see that she had gotten the same response. Or maybe her master's grin was even sillier.

The two chocobos shrugged and went back to playing with Axel. Namely, pecking the fur off the orange critter for slurping that last bit of milk earlier.

-tbc-


	4. Wark it!

Title: The Pets Chronicle part 4 – Wark it!  
Author: Sorceress Fantasia  
Pairing: Leon / Cloud  
Theme: Jealousy  
Warnings: AU, fluff, sap, humour, slightly crack-tistic in nature  
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or any of its characters, as much as I would like to.

Written for LJ 7snogs challenge.

Summary: Leon does not like Zack. Zack does not like Leon either. Cloud is oblivious.

* * *

"Ah… Leon… Don't stop…"

Smirk. "I'm not stopping even if the sky collapses on me…" Nibble.

A low guttural sound torn from his throat, a cross between a moan and a yell. Fingers weaving into the other's hair, hands pressing down. Face burning. Legs wantonly spreading apart. Head thrown back in abandon. Another moan.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" Breathy. Wispy. Like a swirl of smoke dissipating.

Shudder, painful but bittersweet. "Ver… very… Ah…"

"You want more, don't you, Cloud…?"

"Le-Ah! Leon…"

"My Cloud… Mine. Cloud…"

"WARK!"

Leon blinked.

"WARK! WARK!"

He blinked more. The colours around him started to fade and melt away.

"WARK! WARK! WARK!"

He woke up. Damn.

The first thing Leon saw when he was so rudely interrupted from his fantasizing (was that make-out session only a dream? It felt so real) was a pair of purple eyes staring at him from across the living room table. No, staring was too mild a word to describe how Zack was looking at him. Zack was positively /glaring/ at him. In fact, he was glaring so hard that Leon swore he could see sparks coming out of those eyes.

And when their eyes met, Zack started to wark and screech at him, all the while kicking and flapping his wings to increase his intimidation factor. Occasionally, he would jump up in anger, entirely too worked up to stand still, and then he would slip slightly when he got back down on the marble table. The thing was rather slippery when he could not use his claws, but Leon remembered that Cloud had warned Zack several times not to scratch the table. Leon thought the image of a chocobo trying to intimidate him while still being Cloud's good little pet was rather amusing.

Finally, the ruckus alerted his favourite blond that in the living room was a very unhappy little chocobo. From the corner of his eye, Leon saw Cloud shaking his head as he walked out of the kitchen and towards them.

"Zack."

The black chocobo whined, but it had mostly settled down by then. At least, it was no longer jumping up and down like a blasted jack rabbit or flapping his wings. Seriously, if Zack wanted to live longer, he really should stop flapping his wings and show everyone just how tender they looked like. Especially Riku, who still called him their emergency food stock whenever Cloud wasn't around to chide him.

"No bothering Leon. You know he's tired."

Leon quickly faked a yawn, much to the chocobo's annoyance.

"I'm sorry Leon. I had no idea Zack had wandered over to you. If I had known, I would have kept him in the kitchen with me," Cloud said, sitting down on the couch beside the brunet.

"Nah, it's okay." Of course it was okay, because Leon actually didn't /have/ to dream of Cloud to make out with him. Vaguely, he wondered why he even had that dream when he could do it in the real world. With a light smirk and an arm around the other's waist, he pulled Cloud closer. Smooch. Oh yeah. Smooch smooch. Collar, off! Better. Nibble nibble kiss kiss. Unbutton unbutton unbutton. Much, much better. Lick. Bite.

Suddenly…

"Ouch!"

" Leon?" Cloud's eyes, previously having fluttered shut in pleasure, flew open in surprise at the sudden sound of pain.

"Zack is… biting me."

Cloud raised an eyebrow, but upon looking down at the carpet, his jaw fell when he realized that Leon was serious. Very serious. Zack, his normally mild-mannered pet, had latched onto Leon's toe with his killer beak. Thank goodness Leon was wearing a pair of thick socks. But still that had to hurt!

"ZACK! Let go right now!"

He whined for a bit, but eventually let go at Cloud's heated glare. Snorting, he turned his behind to Leon and preened himself happily, looking like he had completed his good deed for the day.

"Are you alright, Leon?"

"I'll be fine… I don't think he broke my skin," the brunet replied, slipping off his sock to examine his toe. However, despite the fact that there was no blood, there was no denying that the toe was very red. It was probably swollen already.

"Give me a second. I'll go get the first aid kit." Cloud rushed away.

The moment Cloud was gone, a glaring match immediately commenced between Leon and Zack. If one were present to see the scene, one would probably see the streak of electricity traveling between their eyes and perhaps even feel the room's temperature sky-rocketing to unbelievable heights, a result of the inferno blazing behind them. Even volcanoes erupting weren't so scary.

"Haven't you had enough?" Leon hissed heatedly, reminding the chocobo of all the damage he had wrecked to his dates with Cloud. Ever since he had started to date Cloud about a month ago, right after the milk incident, the stupid black bird's list of hobbies suddenly grew to include 'torture Leon' and 'be a date-wrecker'.

The first few times Leon came over, Zack made sure to hide his shoes and sometimes even used it as a toilet. That stopped only when Cloud put the shoes into the shoe cabinet and locked it up.

When there were no shoes to hide, Zack started to bite through all of Leon's socks. That was why Leon had taken to wearing his socks inside Cloud's apartment.

Then Zack had also shown him his middle feather (Leon wondered if the bird had watched too much TV and was learning the most universal sign language humans had ever came up with), did a nice butt gig in front of him, pecked at his feet, gave him a set of nice claw marks on his thighs, pecked him more, kicked him several times, broke his favourite watch, pecked him even more, and basically made himself the world's biggest nuisance.

The last date Cloud had allowed Zack to tag along had ended in Zack ganging up with a mog on the streets and charging towards Leon, rambo-style. Cloud never allowed the black chocobo to follow them on their dates after that.

Cloud said he couldn't understand what was going on with Zack, whom he claimed had always been the sweetest pet chocobo everyone had ever seen.

But Leon knew what insanity had stricken the bird.

One word: jealousy.

The chocobo warked angrily at him, to which Leon only smirked.

"Forget it, Zack. You're a chocobo, and chocobos don't get together with humans. That's called bestiality, and I'm sure Cloud's not into that. So you just be a nice little pet and leave Cloud to me. I'll be gentle with him."

For a moment, Leon thought he had gotten through to the bird, when he bowed his head to mope. Then the bird started to tremble and sniffle.

What the-? Was Zack actually crying? Chocobos could cry? And that wasn't just the waterworks; that was a frigging flashflood! Suddenly, as though crying, trembling and sniffling weren't enough, the chocobo began to wark loudly at him.

That was when Leon was sure he had gone over the edge. There was no other explanation as to why he could see subtitles underneath Zack as the black chocobo warked and swore and cursed at him!

"WARK WARK WARK, wark wark, WARK!"

The subtitles read: "You stupid human! Cloud doesn't belong to you! He doesn't!"

"WAAAAAARK! WA-Wark! Wark wark!"

Subtitles: "He's my master! Mine, mine, mine! Butt off!"

And then there was the middle feather again.

Cloud picked this moment to return, and he paused when he saw his chocobo weeping and jumping and warking like there was no tomorrow. Walking over to his boyfriend carefully, he whispered, " Leon? Do you think Zack is in heat? Is that why he's been so irritable lately?"

Leon stifled a laugh, and with a poker face, replied, "Perhaps. You want to try locking him up with Aeris? Maybe we'll get a few babies."

"Hmm." Cloud contemplated for a moment before turning to his pet, gently gathering him into his arms. Zack warked pitifully as he tried to snuggle deeper. "What do you think, little buddy? Some downtime with Aeris? You want babies?"

It was as though Zack had gotten electrocuted. He quickly shook his head and warked in alarm.

Subtitles: "Nooooo!"

"I think he's too happy to thank you properly, Cloud," Leon said seriously. Inwardly, however, he was cackling evilly.

"You think so?"

"Positive."

"You don't mind lending me Aeris for the night, do you?"

"Of course not."

As the two humans continued to discuss the mating plans, they were almost completely unaware of how Zack was still screaming, "NO!" Well, Leon noticed, since he could read the subtitles, but he wasn't going to tell Cloud.

* * *

And that night, Leon and Cloud finally managed to sleep in peace together, without the blasted black chocobo zipping around the room and demanding that Leon leave his master alone. And while they were together in la la land, Zack was locked up with Aeris for the entire night so they could mate in peace and make beautiful babies.

Zack spent the night kicking at the cage and ignoring Aeris' fluttering eyelashes.

-tbc-


	5. Zack's Fantasies

Title: The Pets Chronicle part 4.5 – Zack's Fantasies

Author: Sorceress Fantasia

Pairing: Implications of Zack/Cloud, Zack/Aeris, Leon/Cloud

Rating: PG-13. Rated for Zack's mouth. Erm, beak. Whatever. XD

Warnings: AU, fluff, sap, humour, slightly crack-tistic in nature

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy 7 or any of their characters, as much as I would like to.

Summary: Zack really hates that human who's always bothering his poor master.

* * *

Zack's biggest wish in life was simple: find a pretty female, raise a few chicks of their own, and in the process, bedazzle his master so they would always stay together.

It was a wish so simple Zack knew many pet chocobos who had made it their life goals. Some had succeeded nicely, with a large horde of chicks to carry on their family name, only to end up having their masters giving away some of those babies due to the sheer amount of greens needed to feed the whole family. Some were not so successful, and their babies ended up in Fantasia Fried Chocobos latest lunch promotion. Poor Xenmas… Zack would always remember his dear friend wailing like a crazy bird upon smelling his twin brother in his master's lunch box one day. Even though Zack had never liked that Ansem, he was always upset to see one of his kind turn out as human feed.

Then, there were also chocobos who had completely failed in the life goal of all chocobos. Basically, those losers either lost their masters or never found a life mate. Or worse, fell in love with the wrong species. Like his old friend Tidus, who got so infatuated with his neighbour's pet, a hyperactive moogle named Selphie. That moogle generally 'kupo-ed' the hell out of Zack, but well, whatever floats Tidus' boat. And then there was that pretty chocobo Lucrecia who got stalked by a tonberry named Vincent, and the knife-wielding, lantern-swinging little lizard always toddled behind her like some sort of parasitic leech.

Of course, nothing good ever came out of those romances.

Then again, he seemed to remember Cloud getting a letter from Tidus' master, telling them that the chocobo had somehow, one way or another, mated with Selphie. Zack didn't even want to begin thinking about how the babies would look like, because the minute he gave it a thought, images of a sphinx-like monster would assault his little chocobo brain. And what would the babies be called? Moocobo? Chocogle?

…Maybe it was better that he didn't think too much about that.

The important thing was Zack refused to become one of those losers. Ever since he had gotten adopted by Cloud, he swore that he would always stick by the blond like superglue and nothing short of a meteor would separate them. No, even if a meteor came and took his life, he would still stalk his master in spirit form! Cloud had never shown any signs of dissatisfaction with him either, and he was always telling Zack how they would always be together no matter what because they were best friends, buddies and partners. Zack was still very proud of the fact that Cloud had given his younger brother a good dressing-down for even implying that he wanted to eat the black chocobo.

Of course that never deterred Riku, that silver-haired jerk, who had a stubborn streak at least a mile wide.

But Zack could still live with him, because that jerk was Cloud's younger brother, and as Cloud's favourite and only pet, he was obliged to be magnanimous and forgive that jerk. And Cloud very seldom blamed him for pecking Riku, just as long as the boy didn't bleed too much.

So where did this brown-haired, scar-faced, leather-obsessed /jackass/ come from?

And why the hell was he snatching all of Cloud's attention away?

And why was Cloud letting him?

And why was that jackass always biting Cloud and removing his clothes? Didn't that jackass know that a bite could be really painful, and that Cloud could get a cold from his lack of clothes?

Zack had tried to protect his master valiantly. By pecking that jackass' feet repeatedly, hiding his shoes and biting through his socks even though those things smelled worse than sewer water, clawing his thighs once or twice, Zack thought it would get rid of that stupid human, or at the very least, deter that idiot from getting too close to his master. As the saying goes, desperate calls for desperate measures, so when none of those had worked, Zack had even showed that blockhead his middle feather, something he had seen Riku do on several occasions when the boy was driving or to get unwanted people like salesman off his back.

Unfortunately, even that gesture failed to chase away the sieve-head idiot. All of Zack's angry warks just passed through his head like water through a sieve. What an utter, bumbling idiot.

Worst of all, why couldn't Cloud understand that Zack had done all that for his sake? Why was his pretty, naïve, trusting master still hanging around that abomination?

Zack's little chocobo heart bled in pain for his master.

And that was why it was little wonder Zack had the wildest dreams about that idiot's downfall, five nights in a row.

* * *

_Monday _

Zack cackled, ahem, warked happily when he saw his master chase the jackass out of their apartment with a broom. He warked even more happily when Cloud scooped him from the ground for a nice, sweet cuddle and gave him a belly rub. Zack always loved the belly rubs, especially when Cloud would coo softly to him and talk about their future together. He suppressed his evil laughter when he heard Cloud yell at Leon for mistreating his little pet, and the poor sod was banging desperately on their apartment door and begging to be let inside again. Aw, Zack felt so loved.

_Tuesday _

Zack preened his feathers smugly, completely ignoring the brunet who was currently pushing plates and plates of his favourite greens towards him. He vaguely heard the human pleading for his forgiveness and put a good wark in for him so he could get Cloud's favour again. Zack turned away to give that human a good view of his sexy butt, still preening his slick black feathers. When his stomach growled, Zack gave the greens a tentative bite, to which he thought he heard the human cheer, and he quickly spat the food out. Yuck. Uh uh, no way in hell was he going to let that /human/ rejoice. Hey, was that water leaking out from the human's eyes?

_Wednesday _

Woah, what did the human take him for? A sluttish, promiscuous chocobo with the sex drive of a rabbit? Why had the dumb human shoved like, twenty female chocobos before him? And was he, Zack, so easily swayed by females to betray his own beloved master? No way!

Then again, when his beady chocobo eyes finally couldn't resist and took a quick glance at the horde of females, he started to rethink his position a little. Just a little. That golden chocobo really didn't look half bad, and if Zack wasn't mistaken, that female had a twin! Cool, they could have a threesome! No wait, if this was his personal harem, he was going to have more than a threesome! Woo-hoo!

But before Zack could act on his erm, breeding instincts, Aeris stomped out from nowhere, chased all the females away with a sweeping tornado kick and glared at him. Sheepishly, Zack pointed his wing at her master, and Aeris turned her glare to the human. The human yelped and quickly ran off, with the normally mild-mannered pink chocobo warking like a crazed lover after him. Hell hath no fury like a female chocobo scorned.

_Thursday _

Man, did Zack love the awesome milk that Roxas kid had brought along that day! When Zack finished lapping up his bowl, he looked up for the carton, hoping for a refill. Unfortunately, he only found an empty carton tossed carelessly beside him, and his feathers drooped like a child who found no presents under his Christmas tree. Noticing the human kneeling nearby like a servant, Zack warked angrily at the bumbling idiot and he quickly ran off to the supermarket to get him a fresh carton. Hooray for the awesome milk!

_Friday _

Zack blinked blearily, eyes hazy from sleep. He yawned loudly, instinctively bringing a wing up to cover his beak. Cloud always covered his mouth whenever he yawned like this; he said it was good manners, and Zack took that to mean that good, sweet chocobos would cover their beaks when they yawned too. Yes, he was Cloud's sweet, well-mannered little pet.

And then he saw it: instead of a wing over his beak, there was a hand over his mouth! Zack warked in alarm, only to hear a surprised yell like that of a human's!

He cupped his cheeks, amazed to feel the softness of his human skin underneath his human hands. Running a hand through his crown, he grinned at the thick and slick hair, which he knew were spiked up just like Cloud's. Zack had never felt so proud of his spiky hair.

And speaking of Cloud, just where was his master? Zack couldn't wait to show his human form to him! Surely, Cloud would tell him he looked absolutely stunning, whether he was a chocobo or a human! He giggled in glee at the thought of Cloud praising his attractiveness and falling once more for his unique charms. Hey, it wasn't everyday a chocobo transformed into a human! He was special, okay? No, scratch that; Zack was very, very special, and woe to anyone who didn't feel that way.

Strolling along in the park where Cloud used to always take him out for his daily walks, Zack peered high and low for his missing master. Finally, after a while, he spotted that telltale crown of blond spikes, and Zack mentally cheered at his success. His friends were always amazed at how he could home into his master's exact location like he had some sort of Cloud-radar installed inside his brain. Truth be told, Zack's nose was the thing that kept him from becoming a lost pet; Cloud had a distinctive scent of Zack's favourite greens and vanilla ice cream, and the little chocobo would always be able to smell that aroma a hundred miles away.

He was about to wave and run over when something, a very irksome thing he had never thought he'd see here, caught his eyes and he skidded to a halt. That idiotic, touchy-feely octopus of a human was with Cloud! How dare that blasted human show his face to Cloud here, when Zack was in human form and wanted all of Cloud's attention? Uh uh, Zack wasn't going to allow that human to interfere.

Wishing he still had his claws and powerful beak that had once served as a nutcracker for Cloud, who happened to have the habit of eating cashew nuts while watching television, Zack charged towards the abomination with a battle yell. Strangely enough, a buster sword materialized in his hands the moment he was close enough, and with a mighty swing, he chucked the human away like a golf ball. He could almost hear the congratulatory yells of a 'hole in one', whatever that meant.

Before he could even grin, however, Zack found his arms full of a bundle of blond energy.

"Oh Zack! You saved me from the octopus! I love you!"

"Heh heh… I was just fulfilling my duties as your faithful pet, master! I love you too!"

They probably would have gone on to yell more of those mushy love-dovey stuff about who loved the other more, but unfortunately, that was when Zack the chocobo woke up.

* * *

Zack blinked blearily, eyes hazy from sleep. He yawned loudly, instinctively bringing a wing up to cover his beak.

…Damn, it really was a wing over a beak this time. He didn't even get to hear Cloud sing his praises about being an insanely handsome human!

Sulkily, he shifted his body a bit to get more comfortable. It was probably pretty late at night already, judging by how dark it was outside the cage, and Zack needed to catch up on his sleep if he needed to terrorize the human again tomorrow. He had to protect his master's virtue and health!

Wait, rewind that thought! Insert the screech and crackle caused by vinyl-spinning DJs.

Cage? Why was he in a cage? Cloud never locked him up at night unless Zack had misbehaved, which was like, never!

…Oh right. That blasted human had persuaded Cloud into locking him up with Aeris to mate. Right. He settled down to go back to sleep and hopefully dream more.

What the? Reinsert the screech and crackle caused by vinyl-spinning DJs.

Mate? That might explain the warm body cuddling up beside him right now.

Swallowing a gulp, Zack turned to his right, and nearly warked in alarm when he saw a half-asleep Aeris yawning. Her feathers were rumpled and ruffled, and she definitely looked like she'd had a rough night.

When Aeris noticed him through her glazed eyes, she offered a sated and tired grin, nudged him lightly with her head and went back to sleep. Things would have been okay, and Zack would have moved away to the other end of the cage to sleep his nightmare off, but Aeris just had to wark in her sleep.

"Wark wark wark… Wark. Wark. Wark wark. War-war-war wark… zzz…"

For the sake of human readers, Zack will translate that above statement for us. Take the mic, dear. Yes, yes. Uh-huh. Oh, is that what she said? Oh I see… Uh yes. Okay, I got the message.

"Zack honey… let's name our babies Yuffie and Cid after my cousin and uncle. Zzz…"

Erm, human readers, you might want to stuff your ears right now because Zack's going to uh, well… Let's just say he's not taking the news very well. That's pretty understandable, since Zack didn't even know he had mated.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRK!"

Just in case you didn't understand that, that earth-shattering, ground-breaking, ocean-parting wark is a much used swear word for chocobos. The closest equivalent in human language, or English to be more precise, is known as the magical F-word.

What? Why am I using euphemisms? There is a reason why this fic is rated PG-13, okay? And there are baby chocobos (even if they haven't been born yet) around! Shh!

-tbc


	6. The Third Wheel

Title: The Pets Chronicle part 5 – The Third Wheel  
Author: Sorceress Fantasia  
Pairing: Leon / Cloud  
Theme: Argument  
Warnings: AU, fluff, sap, humour, slightly crack-tistic in nature  
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or any of its characters, as much as I would like to.

Written for LJ 7snogs challenge.

Summary: Leon and Zack still don't like one another. And Cloud still cannot understand why.

* * *

Leon had reached the end of his patience. He had been tolerating his boyfriend's infidelity for the past three months, and as much as he loved Cloud, enough was enough! He couldn't take it anymore! Cloud had to choose between the two of them. End of question. No second chances. Uh huh. Nada. Zilch. Zip. Zero.

"You love him more than you love me!" he yelled, pointing an angry finger at the offending extra player in his and Cloud's romance story. Said extra player merely glared back with an indignant huff.

Cloud shook his head in disbelief, closing his eyes and willing for the headache that had just set in to dissipate. This couldn't be happening. This just couldn't be happening. But when he opened his eyes, and when he saw his jealous boyfriend still fuming and unwilling to relent, he realized that yes, this could be happening and it really /was/– no matter how impossible it seemed – happening.

"… Leon, do you realize how silly this is? You're jealous of my pet chocobo."

Zack warked, his chest all puffed up, as though agreeing with his master. But Leon knew better. The devious black blob of feathers was gloating at him, cackling insanely like the evil bird it was. And Leon knew that that blasted bird was slowly but surely implementing his master scheme of snatching Cloud away from him. Hell if he was going to let /that/ happen. Cloud was his! His, damn it!

Cloud was /all/ his! Cloud was going to one day become Cloud Leonhart-Strife! There was no way Leon was going to share, not even with a little chocobo! A chocobo that Cloud couldn't marry or have sex with because that would be bestiality! A chocobo that had a maximum lifespan much shorter than a human's… Hmm, now that Leon really thought about it, he wondered if he was being a little childish to fight with Cloud over a bird, but oh well.

"It's not silly! Haven't you noticed how Zack keeps trying to break us up? He pecks at me, eats my socks, and even attacked me with a moogle friend!"

" Leon… Zack's just, not used to having you around the house, you know? This /is/ the first time I've had a boyfriend who is also my neighbour and so keeps hanging around my apartment. If it makes you feel better, Zack has pecked all of my previous boyfriends when they first visited me at my apartment."

"You said it yourself: first visited. That means Zack stopped pecking them after the first visit! But the blasted bird is still pecking me after three months!"

Cloud winced. "Well, he still pecks Riku sometimes…"

"It's not the same. Zack pecks Riku because Riku /likes/ eating chocobos. That, and because he can't stop calling Zack his emergency food stock."

"If you're so convinced that Zack enjoys pecking you, give me a good reason why! Because he doesn't like you?"

"Because he doesn't like me," Leon echoed irately, remembering all the times Zack had shown him his middle feather. "And he doesn't like me because /you/ like me."

Cloud blinked several times, running that sentence through his head over and over again until he reached a startling conclusion. He peered at Zack for a moment, as though trying to read the slightest nuances in his pet's body language. Zack peered back at him, cocking his head to the side looking like he was utterly and utterly confused. Ah, that action was so cute. It was that action that had convinced Cloud to adopt that black chick all those years ago, when his friend had decided to give away all the babies his own chocobo had mothered. Zack was really, really, really cute…

Leon coughed, and Cloud broke out of his 'Zack is soooooo cute!' trance.

"Err… anyway. Leon, you can't be serious. Zack can't be jealous of you! He's a chocobo, for god's sake!"

"Tell that to him again…" Leon muttered under his breath, inwardly hoping for the chocobo to suddenly walk up to him and kick him or something just for the hell of it. But no, that disgusting black blotch of feathers /never/ misbehaved in front of Cloud. Oh no. That thing acted like the cutest angelic chocobo when Cloud was around, but he would always immediately morph into the most devilish, malicious, and utterly evil nuisance once Cloud turned away.

Cloud sighed, completely unable to comprehend why two of the most important people –erm, person and chocobo?- in his life just couldn't get along. And Cloud didn't think he had been biased at all. He let both of them sleep in his bed if they whined; he let both them eat at the same table, and he always give them second servings if they were not full.

Sure, there had been that one occasion when he had bought Leon a shirt, but Cloud honestly didn't think that Zack could wear a shirt… And then there was that one time when he had bought Zack a new collar made of real leather, but there was no way Leon would want a collar like that… His boyfriend wasn't into S&M, was he?

Hmm. That might make a really good birthday present, and Cloud quickly noted that idea down in his head. But back to the problem at hand.

He decided to use the most tried-and-tested method in his book to placate his boyfriend. Slowly sashaying over, and making sure to smile seductively and giving a well-timed wink, he gently cupped Leon's face in his hands. He leaned in close, softly blowing a cool whisper of air onto his boyfriend's lips.

"Don't get so worked up. Why don't I give you a different kind of… pecking?" he said sweetly, running a finger across Leon's lips the way he knew his boyfriend was secretly so fond of. Cloud knew he had gotten Leon's complete attention; it was a piece of information that was gathered simply by noting the way Leon's breath sped up, his pupils dilated and how his tongue would flick out to wet his lips in anticipation.

Smiling, he closed the distance between them, quickly relinquishing control and allowed Leon to explore his mouth.

Leon was quick to embrace Cloud, his hands pulling him closer and holding him in place as their tongues continued to play. A thrilling bolt of pleasure spiked down his body and gathered at his groin when Cloud moaned sweetly. He grinned. His hands slowly slid down to cup Cloud's bottom and heave him up so Cloud could wrap his legs around his waist, just the way they both enjoyed.

And then…

PECK!

Leon stopped in his tracks, panting slightly as he peered down at the offending monster. He gave it a little kick, to which Zack warked loudly in protest. Cloud just blinked in surprise.

"I told you, didn't I? Zack pecks me because you like me. He /is/ jealous."

Cloud continued to blink even when he let go of Leon to grab Zack, staring his pet in the eyes in disbelief. "Zack? Little buddy?"

Zack whined, crossing his legs to continue his cute and innocent act.

Leon sighed. Grabbing his jacket, he headed for the door, ignoring Cloud's gasps and protests. When Cloud had hurried up to him at the threshold of the apartment, he leaned in for one more kiss, but it was more of a goodbye kiss than a 'I wanna make out' type of kiss.

"Cloud, either you give him away or make him understand that you and I are in a long-term relationship, so tell him to stop pecking or kicking me."

The blond puckered his lips, pouting. But he nodded after a while.

"I… I'll try my best."

Leon nodded, satisfied for the moment. And then he turned and ambled down the stairs for his own apartment, leaving Cloud and Zack alone to settle their business.

-tbc-

**A/N: **If time is money, then I must be close to bankruptcy. I'm surprised I even had time to post this one. Anyway, read and review if you liked this one, please! Thanx.


	7. Confessions have never been this cliche

Title: The Pets Chronicle part 6 – Confessions have never been this cliché  
Author: Sorceress Fantasia  
Pairing: Leon / Cloud  
Rating: PG  
Warnings: AU, fluff, sap, humour, slightly crack-tistic in nature

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or any of its characters, as much as I would like to.

Summary: Cloud confesses his secret, Leon is pleasantly surprised, and Zack is missing.

* * *

Despite the fact that Leon had been the one to march out so suavely out of his boyfriend's house earlier, he could hardly blame himself for being pathetic enough to stand outside the door just two hours later. One of his hands was resting just above the doorbell, and his other hand was already poised to knock. Well, it was just in case Cloud couldn't hear him, and not because Leon was worried that Cloud wouldn't open the door at all.

No, of course not.

After all, there was no reason why Cloud wouldn't open the door for his ultra handsome and suave boyfriend. Leon knew he was one of the most sought-after guys on his school campus, simply because he was the hottest, most attractive, sexiest and coolest guy on earth. Besides all those fantastic attributes and his gorgeous bod, Leon knew he was also the reason why the phrase 'sword envy' had come into existence. His sword had like, both length and girth, and everyone knew that when they entered his bedroom.

He remembered the first time Cloud had seen his sword. His little boyfriend had gasped and squealed in fanboy-style before asking Leon if he could have a swing with it. Leon was of course, very alright with it. After all, if his boyfriend couldn't play around with his sword, who could, right?

…Ahem, of course, the whole two paragraphs above were talking about Leon's gunblade, which he kept in his bedroom. Whatever on earth were you thinking about?

But no matter what, Leon knew he was a dutiful and attractive boyfriend, more than able to fulfill Cloud's emotional and ahem, physical needs. Not that they had actually done anything other than heavy petting, of course. Cloud was surprisingly shy about his own body despite being so brazen in kissing techniques. Gods, Leon still had no idea where his little boyfriend had learned to roll his tongue like that. But maybe it was better that he didn't know, because if he /did/ know, Leon would be tempted to head out and murder all those people Cloud had learned from or practiced on.

Cloud was supposed to do that type of kissing with him only! Because he was Cloud's dutiful and attractive boyfriend that Cloud would always love to itty-bitty bits!

Okay, pep talk over. Back to reality.

Leon's hands were still hovering over the door and the doorbell, suddenly feeling more than a little embarrassed to come crawling back to Cloud after only two pathetic hours. It wasn't that he couldn't bear the thought of Cloud crying and groveling for his forgiveness, because said blond was too cute and fragile to cry and grovel. It was the thought that Cloud might /not/ return to him that really bothered him.

After all, Zack had been with Cloud for so many years, and Leon had only known Cloud for what? Three months?

Suddenly, Leon felt his insides freeze a little. A mental image of Cloud locking him out of his apartment while cuddling the black chocobo was giving him the shivers. Would he, dutiful and attractive boyfriend extraordinaire, lose to a black blotch of feathers?

Leon started to consider which brand of boots had extremely good durability and resistance to a chocobo's constant pecking. Worse come to worst, he would wear ski boots.

Just when he was about to beat down on the door and beg for his boyfriend to let him in, it opened abruptly with a soft 'click'. Leon's eyes lit up when he realized that he and Cloud probably shared a telepathic link, which was what enabled Cloud to open the door for him when he had not knocked or rang the bell yet. He was slightly disappointed when Cloud's eyes widened in surprise.

" Leon?"

The brunet quickly removed his hands from the door and doorbell. Awkwardly, he waved.

"Hi. I err… I got fed up of the ruckus Riku and Sora were making in my apartment." That wasn't exactly a lie; Riku was indeed in his apartment wrecking havoc with Sora. Well, it would be more accurate to say that Sora was trying his best to turn down Riku's invitation to hang on together for the next weekend subtly and kindly. And Riku was trying his best to ignore all the subtle and kind rejections and at the same time, persuade Sora to date him. The two were leaving their fates up to a few rounds of Marvel vs Capcom, and Sora had appointed Aeris as the referee just a few minutes before Leon left the apartment.

Cloud chuckled. "Riku's not going to give up so easily. He's stubborn like that."

"And Sora's just as stubborn, so he's not going to give in so easily either," Leon replied simply, all the while letting his eyes trail down his boyfriend's body. Was it just him, or had Cloud's delicious level scoring just sky-rocketed in the last two hours? Suddenly, Leon was tempted to just carry Cloud off into the bedroom, chocobo problem be damned. He ignored the annoying voice in his head that said he was desperate for Cloud's attention. He wasn't desperate, damn it! He was just appreciative of Cloud's perfect body.

"You… wanna come in? Or do you enjoy standing outside my door like this?"

Cloud's voice broke him out of his trance, and Leon quickly shook his head to clear his thoughts. "We have to talk."

"Yes, we do have to talk. Come on in. We can talk in the living room. And don't worry; Zack's sleeping like a log in his basket right now," Cloud said as he walked inside the apartment, leaving Leon to lock the door and follow after him. Jumping onto the couch, he waited patiently, his eyes following Leon's every action.

To be completely honest, Leon was more than a little worried about the situation. What if Cloud really chose Zack over him? Not only would that be upsetting (he was losing his boyfriend to a chocobo!), it was also pretty… embarrassing (again, he was losing his boyfriend to a chocobo!!) and damaging to his ego (he couldn't believe he was losing his boyfriend to a damn chocobo!!!).

And then Cloud started talking.

"I think that I should start from the very beginning…"

Leon blinked. "You mean the time when I found Zack lying like a road kill in front of my apartment?"

"Erm," – Cloud looked slightly embarrassed – "slightly before that."

"But that was the first time we met… wasn't it?"

"Well… Do you remember that eatery down Cross Street? The one that used to be called Seventh Heaven?"

Leon dug through his memories. Vaguely, he remembered such a place, snuggled tightly into the corner of a street. The bell would ring every time the door opened, allowing the smell of its famous coffee and burgers to burst out and waft through the air to lure passersby inside. Leon loved the vanilla soufflés there. They were sweet but not too sweet, just right for his taste buds. In all honesty, they reminded Leon of how Cloud's kisses tasted like. But the eatery had closed down about a year ago.

"I don't know if you recognize me, but I used to be a server there."

Leon's jaw slackened. It sounded impossible to his ears. If Cloud had been there, surely Leon would have noticed that really attractive server and tried to date him back then. And maybe even have to kick all his potential rivals out of the door and face the formidable lady boss of Seventh Heaven for ruining her business.

Cloud laughed sheepishly at the look of disbelief, reaching up to scratch his head. "Well, I… I looked quite different then. Riku says I look like I've gotten a makeover, compared to that time. But really, all I did was to remove my thick-rimmed glasses and braces…"

Leon couldn't imagine his boyfriend in braces. Glasses though, were another story. In fact, Leon was wondering if he could persuade Cloud to get a pair of thick, black-rimmed glasses. Those things were a major turn on in his humble opinion.

"I remember watching you whenever you visited. You loved the vanilla soufflés, right?"

Leon nodded dumbly, surprised that Cloud had noticed.

Cloud smiled. "And I remember your Radiant High uniform. That's why I wanted to transfer there too, even though by the time I managed to, you had already graduated. But well, I really don't think I look any good in the braces, so I was kinda waiting for the dentist to remove it before coming to see you… And then I found out that you live in Destiny Apartments, so erm… here I am. I didn't think you lived in this block though. I always had this idea that you lived in the next block…" he trailed off, locking and unlocking his fingers.

Somehow, the brunet was a little tempted to yell, "Stalker!" at the top of his lungs but he could not find it in his power or heart to do so. After all, if all his stalkers were half as cute and kind as Cloud, Leon really wouldn't mind having a few more. But of course, now that he already had Cloud, he didn't need those extra stalkers. Leon would always be the dutiful and attractive boyfriend.

So instead of screaming and freaking out, Leon decided to take the easy way out and pulled Cloud into his embrace. Carefully, he leaned back into the couch, gingerly pulling Cloud down with him. His hands were wrapped around Cloud's slim waist, and his chin was lying atop Cloud's head. He thought it was the coziest position ever. Hugging his blond boyfriend close always made his heart feel warm and fuzzy, much like the same feeling one got after downing one mug of hot chocolate on a rainy day.

"Does this mean… you've liked me since then? That Zack's accident was not really an accident?"

"Err… 'yes' to the first question, but 'no' the second question. I've liked you since I first served you in the eatery, but Zack's accident was truly an accident. I was still wondering how to approach you as I unpacked my bags, and I had no idea that Zack had zipped out of the apartment at all."

Damn. Leon was hoping that he had been correct in his guess, because that would mean that Zack was only a matchmaker which could be disposed of once the couple were happily married and together.

" Leon… let me keep Zack. He's been with me for so long, I can't bear the thought of leaving him. I promise he'll learn to respect you. Or at least stop pecking you," Cloud whined, drawing soothing circles on his boyfriend's chest. He mentally cheered when he felt Leon's arms tighten around him, knowing that he'd already won the battle. Leon always got more touchy-feely when he was about to give in to Cloud's demands.

"…Fine. But he's on probation for three months. If he can't stop pecking me by the end of three months, we're giving him away."

"Thank you!" Cloud chirped happily, straightening up to press a kiss to Leon's cheek. When Leon grunted, he couldn't help but laugh as he pressed another kiss to his boyfriend's lips. He cheered inwardly when Leon deepened their kiss, slowly pushing him down onto the couch, towering over him as they continued to make out.

In the back of his mind, Cloud started to calculate how much greens it would take to bribe Zack into at least behaving for Leon. And worse come to worst, he would just have to give Zack away. But Leon didn't have to know that if it ever came down to that, he would just give Zack away to Riku. After all, Leon didn't specify who he couldn't give Zack to, right?

Perfect ending, Cloud thought. He just had to warn Riku not to eat Zack.

Leon just continued kissing his boyfriend while working hard at unbuttoning his shirt.

-tbc-

**A/N: **Just one more chapter to the end of this fic! Aren't you excited like I am? XD Please read and review if you liked this chapter! Thanx!


	8. Happily ever after or maybe not

Title: The Pets Chronicle part 7 – Happily Ever After… or maybe not  
Author: Sorceress Fantasia  
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts  
Pairing: Leon / Cloud  
Theme: Sunset  
Rating: PG  
Warnings: AU, fluff, sap, humour, slightly crack-tistic in nature

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or any of its characters, as much as I would like to.

Summary: Leon brings Cloud out for a date in the local park, but his plans are ruined when they run into a familiar-looking moogle.

* * *

Kidnap annoying black chocobos and make them spend a day at Fantasia Fried Chocobo in order to make said black chocobos become cute little critters that finally stops pecking at his boots, checked.

Lock younger cousin and boyfriend's annoying younger brother together in a bedroom to solve their sexual tensions, checked.

Wash bed sheets, not checked (because there was no need to).

Buy fresh bandages for boyfriend's annoying younger brother, checked.

Send younger cousin's baseball bat to the workshop for repairs, checked.

A date at the ice cream parlor with boyfriend, inclusive of feeding each other fabulous ice cream and eating off each other's spoon, checked.

A stroll by the river banks under the moonlight with boyfriend, inclusive of stopping in the bushes for a minute or two and making out, checked.

Watching the sunset together with boyfriend, inclusive of cuddling together on a park bench and whispering romantic crap to each other… …in the process of getting checked.

Leon peered down to where Cloud was currently spooned up in his arms. Ah, bliss. Now that Riku was all bandaged up like a mummy and always napping, Sora busy apologizing to Riku, and Zack too traumatized to actually bother him much, Leon was finding it much easier to spend all his spare time with Cloud. When the blond sighed contentedly and snuggled closer, Leon smiled. This was the life. After all that trouble in the beginning, all of his earlier efforts had paid off and things were finally looking up.

Playfully, Leon ran a hand down Cloud's side, touching where he knew his boyfriend was ticklish. Just as he had expected, Cloud giggled uncontrollably, the sound ringing like sweet melody in his ears. Still, he decided to be merciful and not make the blond giggle like crazy in public, so he skillfully moved his hand down a bit more. His hand finally settled on Cloud's slim waist, to which the blond purred like a contented kitten before returning the hug by looping both his arms around Leon.

Leon could almost see the kitten ears and whiskers sprouting out of his boyfriend, not to mention the tail, which Leon thought was curled up around his arm like a little bracelet.

Cute.

Ever since Cloud had come clean with his stalker tendencies, he had become less of the seductive temptress he made himself to be so Leon would notice him (Cloud even confessed that after their first kiss, he had blushed so much Riku nearly sent him to the hospital for a blown vessel). Instead, in its place, Cloud was slowly becoming himself again, which Leon thought was cute as hell and just as seductive.

Leon would never look at kittens the same way again, not when he had a kitten living with him and always mewling or purring with delight. That reminded him: he still had yet to buy that collar for Cloud. And that tag too, which had to, no matter what, read: Property of Leon. If found, please return to Destiny Apartments, block F, apartment number #07-08. That was his address actually, but he didn't think Cloud would mind.

Sora said he was being overly possessive, acting just like a lion over his pride of lionesses.

Leon couldn't care less, even though he had to correct his cousin on the plurality for the word 'lioness' and that Cloud was a kitten, not a lioness. Besides, lions and kittens were both felines, so Leon didn't see any problems.

He lifted Cloud's head gently, smiling faintly at the affection sparkling in those blue eyes. Well, it could just be the setting sunlight reflecting off Cloud's eyes, but Leon would prefer to be a romantic and see it as a sparkle of affection. And it was the type of affection that cats wore when they were prissy and hungry and had shredded the scratching post into wood shavings, and it was also the type of affection that said, "Feed me right now, mister, or say goodbye to your new leather couch!" And who was Leon to deny his kitten?

So obediently, he swooped in like an eagle going for the kill, crushing their lips together with a raw, almost primal, force. The successive waves of sensations that washed over him sent streaks of thrills shooting down his body, and he groaned. The sound vibrated through Cloud's body, and he shuddered, a groan falling from his lips. It wasn't long before the blond melted into his boyfriend like butter in a microwave. Leon smirked. He absolutely adored how Cloud was putty in his hands.

And then, kick!

Leon winced lightly at the pain radiating from his left shin, but continued kissing his sweet kitten, who seemed completely unaware of the kick.

There was another kick, this one much harder than the last, followed by a loud, "Kupo!"

Annoyed, the brunet gingerly pushed Cloud away to glare down at the stupid thing that had dared kick him. And his eyes nearly popped out when he noticed the three moogles standing right in front of him. Two of them were standing at ease behind their leader, and their bodies were quite bare except for a black eye-patch on the moogle on the right. Leon had never seen them before. Their leader, though, was another matter altogether.

It was that stupid moogle that Zack had ganged up with to attack him all those weeks ago! Leon would recognize this moogle even if it had turned into ashes! That scar between its cold blue eyes was a dead giveaway.

"We are the disciplinary committee of this town! No getting all kissy in public, kupo!" the leader yelled, and its subordinates cheered in a myriad and variations of 'kupo'. And was that moogle with the eye patch kupo-ing in all uppercase letters?

Leon nudged the leader moogle with his boot, almost toppling the leader had its subordinates not been quick to hold it up.

"Kupo! What do you think you're doing, kupo!" it replied angrily. Suddenly, its eyes lit up in recognition. "Hey, you're that kid I beat up with that black chocobo a couple weeks ago, kupo! That was undeniable proof that we totally owned you lamers." It smirked smugly, crossing its short pudgy arms.

Leon leaned down and made to flick the moogle's pom-pom, to which the moogles quickly took a few steps back and yelled in perfect unison, "Touch the pom-pom and die!"

That was when Cloud leaned down, awe and wonder glimmering in his eyes. A beautiful smile merely accentuated his amazement.

"You're so cute! Can I touch it? Can I touch it? The red thing above your head! Can I touch it? Please?" Cloud whined, doing his kitten thing again. Leon was, once more, just one step away from ravishing his boyfriend.

However, a flush as bright as the sun flared in his eyes when he noticed the little blush on the leader moogle's face.

"Kupo! Well, if it's you…" it replied shyly, quickly giving its fur a good pat and praying silently that it wasn't having a bad fur day before tottering up to Cloud.

Cloud squealed at the softness of the pom-pom, poking and rubbing the little red ball of fur. The moogle kupo-ed happily as it tried to stand on tiptoes and allow the blond easier access.

"What's your name? You do have a name, right?" Cloud asked, still playing with the pom-pom.

"Sei… Seifer, kupo. The two behind me are my subordinates, and we three make up the disciplinary committee for the town, kupo."

"My name's Cloud. Pleased to meet you! And this brunet beside me is my boyfriend. He's Leon. You know, 'cause he's my boyfriend and all, it would be really nice if you would stop bullying him, you get what I mean? That black chocobo's my pet, and he doesn't peck Leon anymore. So would you stop too, for my sake?" Cue for big blue Bambi eyes.

Leon would have torn Cloud's top off right there and then if he wasn't annoyed by the deep blush on Seifer's face. Stupid moogle! After showing that blasted chocobo who was boss, it seemed that he would have to teach the moogle a lesson for ogling his boyfriend too! He cracked his knuckles.

"…O-okay, as long as he doesn't annoy me again."

"Of course he won't. Right, Leon?"

Leon didn't want to lie to his kitten, so he merely took Cloud's hand and quickly ran off. Too bad those moogles were fast runners…

"Where are you taking him? Kupo! Kupo!"

"KUPO!"

"Kupo! Seifer! Wait for us!"

* * *

And so this fic ends on a happy note, with Cloud and Leon happily snogging each other whenever they feel like it, Zack latching onto his master's feet but avoiding Leon like the plague, Aeris cooing and still chasing after Zack about their soon-to-be-hatched babies, Sora and Riku happily playing their game of hard-to-get (Riku isn't so happy about it, actually), Roxas visiting occasionally with the awesome milk and Axel learning to speak his first words apart from 'Roxy' and 'food', which happens to be 'got it memorized?' though nobody understood where he had picked that up.

Seifer, Fuu and Rai occasionally turns up at Cloud's apartment, having found out the exact address by following Leon when he had grabbed Cloud and took off. Leon abhors it when they are around, because Seifer acts like an angel in front of Cloud but transforms into the devil when only Leon is around. Leon is currently looking for a Fantasia Fried Moogles so Seifer can learn not to mess with him, the exact same way Zack had learned his lesson.

The chocobo friends Zack made while escaping Fantasia Fried Chocobo also visits from time to time, when the four of them are not busy finding their mother, whatever that means. Leon also hates it when they visit, because they shed silver feathers like crazy, and also because the eldest silver chocobo likes to slide up to Cloud for a cuddle and hug. The other three chocobos like to follow Cloud around like baby ducklings following their mother.

Other than that, Leon and Cloud are living happily ever after.

…I think.

-owari-

**A/N: **Alright, this is it! The last chapter for this fic that was wonderfully fun and crackish to write! I hope all of you have enjoyed it as much as I do, and please review if you loved it! Thank you very much for being on this journey with me!


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